Nearly everyone who has experienced high school is aware of the social cliques that inhabit it. It’s easy to feel alone when stepping onto a campus made up of people who seem like they have it all figured out, but they definitely don’t.
It’s difficult to pinpoint a specific group of people who may find these social cliques challenging, because anyone can feel these social pressures. Certain groups just may have a harder time finding their place than others.
“I think that students that are coming from our district already have a support group of friends,” says wellness counselor, Alison Tarczynsky. “[They] don’t experience that the same way that someone is coming in new to not only the school, maybe tenth, eleventh, twelfth grade, but also new from a different middle school.”
Tons of people come into the wellness center talking about their difficulties with social life on campus. Especially those who were previously at a non-LVUSD school.
“Some of their comments are, well, people already have built in friends, or built in supports and so I think that’s what makes it difficult, especially when you’re new,” says Tarczynsky.
No matter if a person is coming in new to the district or has been in LVUSD since they were in kindergarten, navigating a new environment and getting adjusted to it is stressful and causes a whirlwind of emotions. Wellness counselor Lisa Lucore understands this feeling, and calls it the “Freaking First Time”, a phrase coined by researcher, Brené Brown.
“What the freaking first time is, is it’s about understanding that overwhelm that I talked about where your brain has to put so much energy on to something that’s new,” says Lucore. “You’re gonna be exhausted, you’re gonna be overwhelmed.”
Ultimately, the pressures of balancing social and academic life can weigh heavily.
“If you’re all academic, you’re missing out on social stuff. If you’re all social, your academics aren’t enough. But when someone does not have a connection even to one person,” Lucore says, “that is so difficult for the student, that then they’re not connecting with their work, they’re not connecting with their teacher, and they go into this funk of not having a connection with somebody.”
The wellness counselors stress putting in the effort to go to those social events, to go join those clubs, and to talk to your classmates. Make the effort to be a part of a group. If it’s too difficult to cultivate those friendships unassisted, it’s possible to utilize connections with teachers to get an extra push, and get an assigned seat next to a specific person.
This advice is seconded by new students at this school too, specifically Sydney Crowther, a 10th grade student who transferred to Calabasas High School from LAUSD.
“I got adjusted to people by making connections and just being a very social person,” she says. “Talking to people will get you to meet other people and you can find your little group of people eventually. I enjoy theater and so I mostly found my people there.”
