Then Jackie Sed…

Then Jackie Sed...

When you have siblings living with you, you never have to worry about being alone. When you are an only child, you tend to find comfort in being alone. Unfortunately for me, I am both a sibling and an only child. See, my siblings are 27 and 31 (hey Jordy and Jessie!), so while I have “sibling bonds” with my brother and sister, they both moved out of my house while I was still fairly young. Suddenly, I was left with no one to bother, no one to play games with, no one to keep me company (well, within 15 years of age). However, instead of simply learning to be independent and taking some 11-year prolonged “me time,” I could not bear to spend even an afternoon alone.  I always had to be doing something, always around others my age.

It wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I realized how drastic my independent-deficiency had become. I had wanted to go study after school but none of my friends were available to join. As a result, I decided to do the unthinkable–go study BY MYSELF. I know, pretty crazy, take a minute to let that sink in. I walked into a coffee shop all alone, grabbed a table for ONE and sprawled out all of my textbooks and papers to fill the space that would usually be occupied by a friend. What now? I thought to myself. I just…quietly work? After a few instances of confusion and minor panic, I plugged in my headphones and set off to work. As I delved further and further into the caverns of my APUSH textbook, I was surprised at how much more efficiently I was able to comprehend the information I was reading. And for the next three hours, not once did I concern myself with high school gossip, television sitcoms, celebrity drama or anything other than good ol’ United States history. I finally experienced an entirely distraction-free study session. As a result, I got home at a reasonable hour and got a practical amount of sleep (??!?!?!).

​Ever since that day, I have been trying to wrap my head around the fact that being alone does not equate to being lonely. Aloneness should not be my arch-nemesis; in fact, on days where my mind is running 10,000 miles a minute and my workload is bigger than my attention span, solitude has the potential to be my best friend.