Mad Hatter

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You never know the effect that a dream can have on you. The things that float through your subconscious are utterly amazing, yet sometimes your mind can fail you.

A few weeks ago, I had an extremely bizarre dream that my grandmother had come back from the dead. When I awoke, my mind was racing from the vividness of the dream.

Two days later, I was drawn back into thinking about the dream. Something was wrong with it. It finally dawned on me that my grandmother had not spoken a single word throughout the entirety of the dream. Seconds later, I came to the overwhelmingly sad conclusion that I could no longer remember her voice. Instantly, I started recalling the voices of everyone close to me, forcing myself to produce their voices in my head. My grandmother’s was the only one that I could no longer remember.

Though she died over ten years ago, I still have incredible memories of her. However, none of them contain the voice that I had once recognized so easily.  Her death was the first death that had ever really affected me. But realizing that I had forgotten her voice was like losing her all over again.

Up until that moment, I had never realized the impact a voice has on a person.  It is not just random sounds, but rather the subtle tones and rhythms a person uses to convey particular emotions. A voice is the most authentic form of communication. The voice is the medium human beings can use to represent their feelings and desires to the world.  Speaking can contract an array of different sentiments in a way that writing never can. A voice is a person, and, when you lose that voice, you essentially lose what makes that person an individual.

Losing my grandmothers voice is still hard for me to grasp. I constantly try to remember it, but I know I never will. No matter how deep into my mind I search, I will never find it. It is lost forever. What I am trying to say is, losing someone is a horrible thing, but losing their voice is just as hard. It dulls the radiance of your memories, until finally those memories fade away with alongside the person you once knew.

 

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