On June 15th, the class of 2017 will receive their diplomas, flip their tassels and officially commence the next stage of their lives. Beginning as adolescents and leaving as adults, most CHS seniors have drastically changed since their freshman year of high school. For many, high school has provided a pathway for self-discovery and transformation. Some CHS graduates are particularly grateful for the confidence they have gained and the passions they have discovered throughout the past four years.

Dear Freshman Jared,

Right now you’re probably lying on your bed, in a rotation of having screaming matches on COD and taking massive gulps of Dr. Pepper. I’m assuming you haven’t showered in three days, but then again, you haven’t moved in three days either so why even bother?

Oh boy. Right now, you are FAT. Now look, I don’t blame you. I still tend to eat on the unhealthy side now, but bro, you look terrible. But don’t worry, by the time you reach my age you’ll be 35 pounds lighter and finally receive that positive attention from the ladies you’ve always wanted.

Jared, what I’m about to tell you next might sound strange; your life is saved by Chance the Rapper. After his music gave you a new sense of importance, you give up soda, join theater and branch out and make new friends.

So I promise you, while high school may have been exhausting at times, you’ll eventually look back on freshman, sophomore and junior year struggles and realize it was all worth it. You can’t even imagine how happy, driven, passionate and confident you currently are within your life.

Soon I’ll be receiving a letter from 23 year old Jared, who’s graduated from Columbia College Chicago and can’t wait to tell me all about my time there. Hopefully he’s as happy as I am right now. Good luck Freshman Jared.

Your good friend,

Jared L. Wiseman

Dear Freshman Ryan,

Hey little guy. Well, I shouldn’t say little, cause even in 9th grade you’re still  taller than 99% of the current senior class, but you get the picture. Anyway, you have a lot to look forward to after 9th grade, Ryan! You’ll write the AME Capstone film, play a gay DJ in Murder Mystery Night, make a multitude of incredible new friends in the most unlikely of places, use the Senior Class FB Page as your personal Twitter, play a martini-shaking, picture-taking dad in the 2017 spring musical (it’s Legally Blonde, don’t tell anybody) and sing in a band that performs in front of the school multiple times! Now, I know what you’re thinking; “MUSICALS?? SINGING?! I’m LITERALLY the worst singer that I know, how can I sing in front of actual people??” Well, part of the trick is a LOT of bad car singing (this will be frequent when you get a license) but mostly it’s to gradually lower your standards for yourself. Works every time, trust me. Oh also, none of this stuff happens until the second that senior year starts, so enjoy 2 more years of mediocrity until you finally do something with yourself, I guess. But hey, once you do finally break out of your shell, the payoff is incredible. It takes a lot of self-esteem building and motivation, but when you do get there you truly feel like you will have a voice. And no, of course you won’t have yourself completely figured out by then, but I cannot imagine a more astonishing way of beginning to.

Xoxo,
Yourself but later

Dear Freshman Via,

Right now, you have a bowl cut. It looks horrible. Don’t worry, it will grow out.  I wish I could abstain for laying this horrible news on you, but something very important to you will die in the near future.  Vine.  But it’s okay, because a career on Vine was never really a realistic aspiration anyway. You’ll live.
  This may come as a surprise, but nearly all the people you hate will become your good friends very soon.  You know Jared Wiseman in your Honors English class who you won’t follow on Instagram because he vapes? You’ll not only become friends, but also best improv buddies. You know Sierra, that ginger who’s lowkey annoying? You’ll become best friends senior year. You know Noah Davis, that obnoxiously loud, Red Bull-drinking kid who you hate? You’ll write a Murder Mystery Night script with (and still kind of hate) him.
 You think you have everything figured out right now, but you actually don’t know anything.
 And please, please, for all that is good and holy, don’t opt out of CAASP testing!

Love,

Senior Year Via