My parents grew up on a concoction of Talking Heads, David Bowie and Stevie Nicks. They experienced shoulder pads, feathered hair and man-earrings (Dad). The knowledge that my parents were not only around for these trends but also participated in them was alleviated by the idea that my parents believe in freedom of expression as deeply as I do. A person develops a sense of self when given the room to experience his or her own decisions. My neo-hippie, Socialist parents encourage creativity and individuality, and their inherent beliefs have translated into my own, and I have been coating my naturally blonde hair in a variety of shades for years.

I first dyed my hair for picture day in fifth grade. My mother was comfortable with a small strip of my blonde hair being dyed turquoise. Fortunately, we both screwed up with the dye bought by yours truly at Hot Topic, and an entire chunk of my head was bright blue for my picture. And then there was the downward spiral of color, like that spinning mouse that shows up on your computer freezes. Contrary to my parents, my conservative middle school hated my hair-dyeing tendencies. Administration told me to stop dyeing and shaving my hair at whim if I wanted to walk at graduation, but that stopped me for only a short period of time. I was hooked on the feeling of sheer bliss accompanying snapping on a pair of latex gloves and smothering my locks in chemical goop. I have had red, blonde, platinum blonde, black, light blue, dark blue, pink, purple, green, light brown and dark brown hair. My hair is absolutely fried, but I could not care any less.

I get extremely nervous when I realize I have no ability to control my life. Anything that makes me feel as though I do have control over myself makes all of my nerves fade, at least for a few minutes while I watch my hair dry and my face reappear as someone new. I have spent hours in the bathroom with either my or my friends’ hands in my hair. I have watched water run deep with various colors as I rinse my head. Seeing a new person facing me in the mirror makes me feel like I am advancing further towards the person I am meant to be. I am getting closer to my future and that is the best type of control I could ask for.